“And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”
My mouth always feels dry after reading that passage, as if someone spoon fed me a bowl full of cotton. It truly is a frustrating concept though, not wanting to do what you should want to do. The idea has plagued my walk for quite some time. Creating a quandary in my heart that I am sure others have experienced.
If I can’t choose to do good, why won’t God just make me choose it?
As a younger believer, with this thought came the assumption that I could lose my salvation. (Which is thankfully refuted by John 10:28) And as I matured and learned of assurance, the question evolved into ‘do I really have salvation at all?’ So you see the difficulty in dealing with sin. It has truly affected all aspects of humanity, even down to the rendering of our theological beliefs and reasonings.
The weight we bear for our sins, at first, seems incomprehensible, unfathomable. It seems as though, at times, doubt is really the only option. Doubt in our stalwart savior, Jesus Christ. Doubt that we may actually be forgiven of our sins. Its that thought which reminds me of another Matt Chandler quote.
“How many of our sins had we committed when Christ died on the cross?”
The answer is obviously none. Yet while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5.8) So if Christ died while we were still sinners, and His resurrection completes the free gift of salvation, why do I, or anyone for that matter, still struggle with certain sins?
In simple terms, God allows sin so He can forgive it, to better glorify Himself and show a love that would not be properly displayed to a bunch of automatons. This isn’t to say we are justified in sin, in fact we are still held individually accountable for our affronts. But Christ paid our way out.
So in essence, the weight we bear, isn’t actually borne by us at all, but by Christ. And its only through sanctification (process by which a Christian believer is made holy through the action of the Holy Spirit.) that we grow.
So take heart, our sanctification is not complete, and won’t be until Jesus returns.