I don’t know where I first saw this, but it came to mind this morning while I was at work:
Five year phase-in plan for “EuroEnglish”
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which
was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s
government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour
of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like
“fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th”
with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords
kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi to understand each ozer
ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
This anecdote is pretty funny, but as I was making my rounds at work this morning, I thought of it and it reminded me of the whole Love Wins debate which has basically died down now. It’s interesting to note that even though (according to this story) English would be the language spoken. But through a series of changes in definitions, English would start to sound an awful lot like German.
In recent years people have tended to stop outright denial of the truth of the gospel. Sure, people reject Jesus daily, but what about those who claim belief in Christ but put forward claims that are completely Christ-less? Over the past century, we have been influenced by post-modernism: a worldview that promotes the idea that whatever something means to you is what it means (it depends on what “is” means). This “what does it mean to you” movement has influenced our reading, teaching, thinking, and living to one degree or another and is in fact, what George Orwell wrote of in his book 1984 where the government was in the business of making history subjective to what was presently going on (“What? We’ve ALWAYS been at war with them! We weren’t in an alliance with them yesterday!”).
In the attempt to make Jesus (or one’s own sin) more acceptable, the temptation is to become a relativist in regards to what you believe. But this begins the slippery slope of changing one word or meaning at a time until what you have isn’t even remotely Christian; except you still go to Church buildings on Sunday mornings and put money in a plate. This is a temptation we all have to avoid as changing one meaning at a time will eventually make your supposed belief in Christ a reliance upon your own word. And yes, the slightest words make all the difference.
“If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself.” – Augustine